IF YOU WERE GIVEN ANOTHER CHANCE TO START ALL OVER, WOULD YOU STILL CHOOSE YOUR CURRENT SPOUSE

 



To those people that choose their spouses for all the wrong reasons and later discovered that marriage is much more complex than their personal needs, and to those that choose their spouses from a sincere heart of love or whatever the case might be. Had it been that you were given another chance to start all over again, would you still choose to start over with your present spouse?

Considering the fact that people’s eyes only get opened when they have finally settled down with their spouses, because that’s the time that they actually start revealing their true selves. Would you even give him or her a second thought? Somebody was saying one time that “courtship brings out ‘the best’, while marriage brings out ‘the rest.’” I believe you can guess what ‘the rest’ represents in this case.

Marriage is one school that has no graduation date and those that went into it unprepared never came out with a pleasant story. If couples could learn to invest half the time they invested in the planning of their wedding on their marriage, then there wouldn’t be so many unpleasant stories about marriage like we’re witnessing presently.

Everyone is looking for that perfect somebody and they fail to realize that marriage is a team play that isn’t dependent on the qualities of one partner alone but on both.  Even if some people would eventually have that perfect somebody, that isn’t in existence anyway, they’re still going to experience problems in their marriage because they would fail to make themselves what they’re looking for in their spouse.

 

You see so many people looking for ways to work on other people and try to change them into what they want them to be but fail to do anything about their own flaws. This is one of the major reasons for the various problems confronting marriages today. Spouses always try to change their partners but do nothing about themselves. To them ‘if you can’t take them the way they are, then you don’t love them or deserve their love.’

When you keep seeing wrong in other people and always try to change them because you think you’re better, then you have much more problems than can be imagined. Majority of the marriages that are troubled today are that way because somebody is trying to change somebody that is using all the energy he/she has to resist such change.
 Instead of trying to change your partner why don’t you work on yourself and try to change yourself first. It’s by so doing that you can understand where the real problems plaguing your marriage are actually coming from.

Just like the holy books says, take the wood from off your eyes first before you can see clearly enough to take off that from your partner’s.’ But no, we always want to take that from others first and do nothing about ours thereby resulting in bias judgment from our end and the problem always get aggravated the more.

Having a lovely and enjoyable marriage doesn’t mean the marriage is devoid of disagreement or chaos periodically. But it’s the steps and effort both partners put into ensuring that such misunderstanding does not disrupt the unity and companionship that they share that count.
They understand that for their relationship to work out fine, they have to be ready to let some things slide - compromise. They don’t always stand their ground and impose their will.

Marriage is a game for two with willingness to learn new things and also unlearn some things that would serve as a hindrance to the advancement of their marriage.  Those who are quick to judge others actually have much more strains in their marriages than those that are not. They fail to understand that humans are different and are brought up under different environments and settings than theirs. They fail to understand that a person’s upbringing influences to a great extent on how he or she does things and relate to those around them.

 

So before you’re so quick to place all the blames on your partner for the strains that your marriage has been going through, ask yourself ‘what you’ve done in ensuring that there’s peace in your marriage?’ I know that we humans have this nature of wanting to exonerate ourselves from something that does not work out fine and claim all the glory when such things work in our favor. Marriage is a game for two and should anything go wrong then both parties are to be blamed for whatever happened no matter how little their own fault might be in contributing to the marriage failure.

You might really feel betrayed because you think you tried you best and be so quick to tag your partner as the devil and the reason why your marriage has not been working out, what have you done into ensuring that sanity is brought back to your marriage?

You may never want to have anything to do with your partner any more should you be given a second chance or life but there’s nothing as such. So if you still want your marriage to work out fine and be sweet for you, you can start putting effort now into ensuring that you get the best from your spouse and from your marriage.

Remember that we can only live once, so let’s not live our lives in regret, rather let’s live our lives in the fulfillment that we were able to turn around what life threw at us for our own benefit and the benefit of those around us. Your marriage is your challenge and you should face it squarely and bring the best out of it for you and your spouse.