HOW YOU CAN REVEAL THE TRUE CHARACTER OF YOUR DATE

It is very obvious that pretense is one of the natures of human beings, mostly when it has to do with situations where we are seeking for a kind of favor from the object of our pretense. Have you noticed that most people in relationships never really know the true character of the one they claim to be in love with?

 Everyone is trying to conceal their character flaws before the one they think they might obtain some kind of favor from or the object of their affection in order to gain unhindered acceptance. This might not be much of a problem in a business like atmosphere, but will constitute a whole lot of problems when it relates to matters involving the heart; as the partner hardly have a true glimpse of the character flaws of the significant other so as to prepare for the worst case scenario.

What is love, if am being presented with something artificial from the onset? I see “love” as accepting someone for who they are and trying your best to make them better than when you met them. So, how would someone make his or her significant other better when the significant other is bent on presenting a false picture of him/her(self)?

In order for two people in a relationship to truly understand each other and accept each other for who he/she is, both partners would need to present themselves for who they really are and let the other person decide if they could live with them for who they really are; not what they’re presenting themselves to be. That is the only condition in which the true meaning of the word “I love you” can actually come into play.

But in a case where everyone Is trying to present themselves as an angel with no iota of character flaws in them, how would someone really decipher their true nature? No wonder so many people get easily frustrated after making a life time commitment to someone and later find out that they’re not really what they portrayed themselves to be prior to the commitment. How would you deal with such case should you discover that the wonderful angel that you’ve known your partner to be was all an act in order for them to get you to commit?

I know you wouldn’t want it to get to that stage where it would seem like you only have little to do because you have already crossed that commitment line. I also know that you also wouldn’t want to put up with any nasty behavior you didn’t bargain for without taking any funny drastic decisions.

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So here is a little guide to help you in having a glimpse of the true nature of the person you claim to be in love with. This would help you in deciding if you should continue with the process and cross that dreaded but pleasant commitment line or you should pause and have a rethink. It is up to you, as you are the only one that’ll wear the shoe in the long run. So here we go:

Their relationship with other people:

One mistake most of us make when we see someone we are in relationship with treat other people wrongly and harshly, we tend to help them justify their actions. Since it isn’t us such nasty behavior is being directed at, we tend to form a blind eye to it. Mostly when it has to do with someone that our supposed partner is higher than in the social chain of life, we easily classify it as normal. After all, it is just a haggard looking mechanic, or a lousy sales girl, or a shabbily dressed taxi driver, etc.

We tend to forget that the true character of a person can only be determined by the way they treat other people – mostly when it has to do with people lower down in the food chain than they are. So, before you excuse the ill treatment your well behaved, angelic partner is meting out to other people, try to put yourself in the position of those other insignificant people deserving of ill treatment; like some people would say, and see if you could condone it. If you can’t condone it, then you better start contemplating if you could live with that should the said spouse refuse to change such behavior or you look for the nearest exit.

Their relationship with their parents:

After God almighty, I think the next most influential person in the life of any child should be his/her  parents. Sorry to those that don’t really have a good or cordial relationship with their parents or whose parents never really had much time for as a result of their extremely busy schedule or negligence on the part of their parents.

 You can know how your partner would take and treat your words and decisions based on how they would treat their parents counsel and decisions about their lives. You don’t live in the same house with him/her and you might wonder how you would know how their relationship with their parents are like.

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 It’s very simple. There’s nothing that a simple communication can’t give one a clue on. With some simple questions and discussion you would know a lot of what your partner thinks about his or her parents. Simple questions like, “should your parents refuse to allow us be together, what would you do?” tactical questions such as this one would tell you a lot of what they think about their parents and the type of regard they have for their parents decisions about their actions and choices.

Take note of the kinds of words they use when you ask questions about their parents disapproving whatever they are doing; as that would tell you a lot about them. If you have a partner that uses some of these lines often, it’s my life, it’s my decision, they can’t tell me what to do, I’m the one that will bear the consequences, I’m an adult etc, when you ask them questions relating to their parents disapproving any of their actions, then you have to be weary of such a person.

Like I said earlier, our parents are supposed to be our next god after God almighty. So should you discover that your significant order do not regard the words of his or her parents that much, then there’s a slim chance that he or she would regard your words when it would matter most. So think twice before you bind yourselves with that rope of commitment, as it seems that is what they’re really after before they’ll let you know the little devils that they have in them.

 The types of friends they keep:

Look, I must tell you that our friends are a true reflection of ourselves. The people we surround ourselves with speak volume of who we really are. If the people that often come around your significant other have some funny character traits that you sincerely find nauseating, then, you’re likely to find your significant other displaying such characters later on in your relationship.

 No matter how principled and respectful you partner might appear to be, you have to be really prepared for the worse if you really intend to continue because friends do have a way of influencing the behavior of each other. Which also means that he/she is also a prospective carrier of such nasty behavior that you might have noticed in his/her friends. Also, your partner is likely to act out what she discusses with her friends often. The kind of friends your partner keeps would give you a clue about the true character of your partner.

Who are your partner’s role model(s) and why?

We are likely to shape our lives after the person(s) we consider to be our role model(s). Such person’s lifestyle usually turn out to be the object of our fantasy. You can’t have a kim kardashian as your role model and not wish to live the lifestyle of kim.

The people we chose as our role models give a clue about our fantasies, our life dreams, our expectations, our innate character etc.  Who are the role models of your partner? Note that he/she is likely to shape his/her life after such a person.

How does your partner relate with other elderly people?

It’s very easy to respect your parents most of the time because they are your parents. How does your partner treat other elderly people he/she comes across daily? The way he/she treats other elderly people might just be how he/she is going to treat your parents should that relationship eventually lead to marriage.

Take note of how they rapport with the elderly around them because it might just be how they are going to relate with your parents and family members when the time comes.

Does your partner avoids being angry when around you?

Anger is part of life as some people would say, but there are unacceptable ways of expressing anger that one needs to be weary of. You can decipher the true character and nature of most people by the way they express themselves when they are angry.

 Should your partner try as much as possible to avoid being angry around you, even when it involves matter that should normally make him or her angry, then I think it’s time you really need to embark on a serious thinking journey because your partner might have some serious anger issue he/she is trying to keep you from knowing.

 It is better you know the anger issue your partner is having and decide how to manage it or deal with it, than for your partner to present himself or herself as a sheep for you to later discover that they are raging lion or lionesses. It’s really going to be a hell of a life for you should you be taken unawares. So you better watch it now that you have the chance to make a decision.

How does your partner behaves when there’s a minor argument?

Argument sometimes gives people idea of the thought pattern of other people. The way you treat someone’s opinion during an argument speaks volume about the kind of person you are. It could be minor argument with friends, colleagues, neighbor etc. irrespective of the topic, how does your partner treat the views of others.

 Is he/she judgmental? Does he pick offense easily at simple phrases? Does he/she get angry when their views aren’t supported irrespective of whether they are right or wrong? Is he/she very opinionated? This would give you a clue on how your partner would treat your views in matters involving your relationships.

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You might think he’s very passionate about the topic of discussion that was why he was reacting the way he did. But should that always be the case, then you might just be in a relationship with someone that might not consider you views as important in your relationship.

People have devised ways of concealing who they really are, but by watching closely and paying a little more attention, you might be able to decipher the true nature of the person(s) that you always hanging around with and decide if you want to continue being around them or you move on.