7 COMMON ISSUES THAT STIRS CONFLICTS IN MARRIAGE IF NOT PROPERLY ADDRESSED

Marriage is very interesting and fulfilling if it is entered into with the right mindset and person. But in order for one to achieve this fulfillment in marriage there are certain issues one must not leave to chance. Success in marriage requires conscious effort from both partners. They must be willing to work on every aspect of their marriage and arrive on a common ground on certain key issues that will confront them if their marriage is going to have a considerable amount of peace.

Conflicts in marriages arise as a result of conflicting ideas, wants and expectations

. When you and your partner can’t find a common ground regarding certain issues in your marriage, then conflict is likely to abound. One common trait of successful marriages is the ability of both partners to find a common ground on every issue that confronts them. They try to understand their differences and look for ways of bringing those differences together and make it work in their favor.

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 The level of success and peace your marriage or relationship is going to enjoy will depend on how well you and your partner will address every issue that confronts you both in your marital journey. Don’t think things will just fall in place on their own, both of you must discuss each of these boiling points in your marriage and decide on what you people are going to do should any of the situations listed below arise.

Below are the most common areas that stir conflict in marriage is not properly addressed:

• Expectation:

Most of us have created very high expectations about relationships and marriage that we want our suppose partners to fulfill if they are ever going to have any head way with us. Most of such expectations are influenced by what we’ve heard and seen, our fantasies, our parents’ marriages, the society, etc. expectation on its own is not bad if it is realistic. But how many expectations are really realistic in the real sense of it. Most of expect our partners to suddenly become a super hero we’ve read about somewhere the moment they profess their love and commitment to us and when that isn’t forth coming, it tend to be a conflict generator in the relationship.

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You need to give your relationship time to grow. One of the problems with too much expectation is that it does not give the other partner much time to prove themselves to us because we quickly become impatient: we always want to see the result immediately. If your relationship is going to work out, you must forget about every foreign fantasy you’ve developed about relationship and marriage and live in the reality. That is the only way you can work your marriage or relationship to fulfillment.

• Communication:

Effective communication is very vital for marital relationship success. Inability to understand a partner’s mode of communicating their thoughts and feelings is one common conflict generator in relationship. Sometimes we presume what we think our partner is communication to us, instead of asking them for clarification. For there to be minimal conflict in your relationship, there must be a free flow of communication between you and your partner with a clear message that can be understood by your partner. You must know your partner’s mode of communication and be willing to ask for clarification in the event where you find it difficult comprehending what they are passing across. if both of you can encourage free flow of communication and understand each other’s mode of communication, conflicts in your marriage will be greatly reduced.

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• Time:

The manner in which each of you spend your time is also another big conflict generator in relationship. Do you always want to spend time away from your partner, even on holidays? Both of you must have an understanding on how each of you will spend your alone time and together time. Your partner must be abreast with what you do with your time while you’re away from him/her. Are you surprised I just said that? Yes, the moment you chose to go into a life of commitment with someone in marriage, that is the moment you accepted to be accountable to that person in all you do. Both of you must learn when to be available for each other and when to give each other a little breathing space in order to maintain balance in the relationship.

• Money:

How are we going to spend our money? Money is one of the major conflict generators in marriages. Both of you must have a common ground on how you’re going to spend and save your money. Every time each of you spend money aside the planned budget, you must be willing to inform your partner about it. Money issues in marriage must be addressed with tact and wisdom if you want to enjoy a considerable amount of peace in your marriage.

• Family:

How does each of you plan on running your family? What type of parenting style are each of you going to adopt? Will your partner be pleased with such a parenting style? What are your ideas about family? Etc. both of you must come to a consensus on how you are going to run your family effectively if you’re ever going to live peacefully.

• Children:

Does each of you plan on having children? How soon? How many children does each of you want? How do you plan on bringing those children up? These are some of the issues that you must discuss with your partner and come to a common ground if you’re ever going to make a head way in your marriage.

• Sex:

This must really be discussed consistently in marriage because it creates conflicts in marriages more than imagined. Your partner must be free to access you intimately whenever they need your attention. There must be a mutual agreement whenever a decision is to be taken on anything that will affect the intimacy in the marriage else there will be great trouble.

Both of you must explain to each other your definition of ‘great sex’ and come to a mutual understanding. Should any of you want to try anything new, the other will have to consent to it without any form of grudge or pressure. It is very important that each of you know what the other think about various aspect of sex, so you know how best to approach such issues when they arise.

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Conflicts in marriages can be easily avoided or minimized if couples could learn to discuss their differences lovingly without being judgmental of each other. There is no marriage that is devoid of conflict, the difference is how often and how willing are both partners to resolve it by finding a common ground that each partner will be pleased with. You can have a considerable amount of peace and fulfillment in your marriage if you can address all of these issues in an understanding and loving manner with your partner whenever they arise. Your marital bliss is in your hand. It is up to you!

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