You have been in
that relationship with him for over a year now and you have been giving him
your time and investing your best in the relationship hoping that he would take
you seriously and consider building a future with you. But he’s always coming
up with excuses why you guys shouldn’t rush things and you’re beginning to wonder
if you have any future with him.
You’ve asked
yourself what is wrong with you or tried to assess yourself to see what you
might have been doing wrong that is stopping him from giving you his full
commitment but you don’t seem to find anything wrong. What is now holding him back
from taking your relationship to the next level? You asked yourself.
Most ladies fail to realize that, some actions
they display before a man they claim to love might actually make him relax and
relent from taking the relationship to the next level. Yes, some of those
actions might seem normal and harmless to the relationship but they might
actually be what’s preventing him from giving you his full commitment.
Unless you’re not
one of those ladies that have marriage as a major reason for being in a
relationship, then you should have nothing to worry about. When you’re with
someone that professes love to you and he doesn’t want to take the relationship
serious by committing to you in marriage after some time together, you should
ask some questions. I just want to give you some few tips of what might likely
be preventing him from committing to you in marriage.
- You are already giving him the benefits of marriage:
“Why should the
meat be bought when the cow can be gotten for free?” there are things that only
those in a committed relationship of marriage are supposed to be enjoying. But
when you’re giving him those things willingly, why do you think he should
commit to you in marriage when he’s already getting the benefits of marriage
for free?
You act as his
cook, do his laundry, keep his home clean and satisfy his sexual desires and in
some cases even live with him in the same apartment and you expect him to take
you to the alter when he’s already reaping the benefits of those that had taken
someone to the altar. Wake up from your dream girl! He just doesn’t see any
reason why he should do that.
Men hardly do
things they don’t have strong reasons to back up or a strong need for. You have
not given him a reason to want to commit to you, so he hasn’t seen any need for
that. There’s actually nothing wrong in
going to your lover’s house once in a while to help out. But if you’ve been
doing that and he has not shown any sign of taking the relationship to the next
level, then you need to move on with your life because he might be one of those
that wants to reap the benefits of marriage without committing to it.
Note that when a
man that is not married to you is already enjoying the benefits of marriage
from you, he would see no need to want to commit to you in marriage.
- He is not yet ready for marriage:
Most ladies think
that when a man has a good job and a comfortable place of his to lay his head, he
must be ready for marriage. Nay, most men don’t think that way! Men that are
ready for marriage just look for someone that they’re comfortable with and can
tolerate their excesses and settle down. They don’t go jumping from one lady to
another like a confused teenager that’s still trying to discover himself. They
know what they want and they go for it when they see it.
One of the worst
mistakes one can make as a lady that is ready for marriage is to hook up with a
man that is not ready for marriage. You keep thinking and hoping that he would
take you seriously but to him you’re nothing but a game. No matter how sophisticated,
decent or respectful a lady might be, to a man that isn’t ready for marriage
she’s just another conquest to satisfy his immediate desire. That’s why it’s
advised that ladies watch the kind of men they open their hearts to because
most of the time it becomes difficult to get them out. Even when he doesn’t
take her seriously she would still hang on hoping that she could make him
change.
One of the ways
of knowing men that are not ready for marriage is that they try to avoid any
conversation about marriage or they feel very uncomfortable talking about any
issue relating to marriage. If he can’t define his relationship with you and
give you a clear direction of where it is heading to, then he is not ready yet
for marital commitment. Don’t continue wasting your time with him.
- He doesn’t consider you as the right one for him:
You’ve been with
him for over a year and he has never shown any form of desire of wanting to
take you to the alter and you’re still there hoping that he would. When a man
meets a lady that he thinks is the right one for him, he doesn’t waste any time
before committing to her in marriage because he would be scared that some other
smart dude might also discover the great qualities that he had seen in her and
try to steal her from him.
Don’t keep
falling for that sweet talk of needing more time or wanting to get to the next
level in his career before tying the knot with you. Such statements only meant
one thing, and that is “he doesn’t think that you are the right one for him.”
So he would keep giving you excuses until you get fed up and leave on your own
accord. But the sad truth is that, most ladies would hardly let him be. They
would keep hoping that they could make him change his mind until they discover
that he is already seeing someone else behind them.
Don’t let any man
fool you with promises or excuses. Six month is very much enough time for any
man that is ready for marriage to know if you’re the one for him or not. If
after six months he hasn’t said anything relating to committing to you or he
always tries to avoid discussing marriage talk or he fail to define the
direction of the relationship, then he doesn’t consider you as the right one
for him. Let him be and wait for someone that would take you seriously.
Commitment in
relationship should not be something that should be forced from someone because
relationship is about building a life together. Someone going into a love
relationship should know what he wants from it and where he/she wants it to
lead to. If you observe that where you
want your relationship to lead to is not same as where he wants his to lead to,
you should let him be because you can hardly make him face the direction of
where you want yours to lead to.
Don’t waste your time with someone that only
sees relationship as a game, because that is what it’s going to be to him until
he’s ready to get serious with his life. Marriage needs serious commitment and
for it to be a success, it must come willingly from the hearts of those going
into it.
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