3 REASONS WHY YOU KEEP ATTRACTING THE WRONG PARTNER

Ever wondered why you seem to be making same mistake in your choice of a romantic partner repeatedly? You may say you’re not good at making choices or that the society is filled with fucked up individuals
; thus you just have to go with whatever comes your way. Irrespective of the excuse you would want
to come up with, i just want to tell you that you can actually have the best if you know what you have been doing wrongly. There are certain qualities and behaviors we display that attract a particular set of people to us. The problem is how we can identify such behaviors and stop ourselves from displaying such behaviors so that we can attract the right persons

. Below are three good reasons why your relationship choice may seem to be in a cycle.

• You have wrong views about relationship:

The way you define or view relationship would determine to a great extent the type of people you attract into your life. Do you see relationship as a means to an end? Or as an avenue to building a great life and a great future with someone that you cherish and vice versa?

We relate to things based on the definitions we give to them. How we define things influence our beliefs and our beliefs most times controls our decisions and actions. In terms of romantic relationship, we either consciously or unconsciously attract to ourselves the kind of people we get based on what we’ve made ourselves to believe about relationship.


Some of us believe that there are no nice or considerate people out there that would love us unconditionally, thus we make ourselves accept whatever comes our way; irrespective of whether it is what we are looking for or not. You really need to change your mindset and some of your views about the opposite sex and relationship if you want to stand a chance of attracting the right person into your life.

Someone might ask, "how does having a particular belief or definition of relationship affect our choice or the type of people we attract?" Good question! You need to understand that; the importance you place on a thing is based on the definition you give to that thing, hence, if you define relationship wrongly, you start looking for those things that depicts your definition about relationship in your supposed partner. A lady that sees a relationship as a means of meeting her needs( either financial or material) wouldn’t mind to a great extend the type of person she attracts as long as he has what her view of relationship is about – financial and material gains.

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A lot of young single people hardly realize early enough that their idea about relationship really play a huge part in the type of partner they attract to themselves. The truth is, they seldom realize that their distorted view about relationship is what has been making them open up their hearts to people that are not right for them until it has become too late for them to change such views and have a fresh start.

Before you give yourself to anyone, here are some simple questions you need to ask yourself to know if you are going into the relationship with the right mindset and for the right reasons or because you have needs that you want someone else to meet at that point in time; why do I need to be in this relationship with this person? What do I want to achieve in this relationship? Am I ready for a serious and committed relationship? Can my reasons for wanting to be in this relationship be gotten through other means? Is he or she the kind of person I desire to be in a committed relationship with? What will happen to the relationship after I have gotten what I am looking for? Etc. if you can be sincere to yourself in your response to some of the questions above, you can learn to avoid making the same mistakes in your choice of a romantic partner.

• You don’t know what you want:

So many single people get into relationship for various reasons; the question here is, are your reasons for being or wanting to be in a relationship reasonable enough to make it stand the test of time? I heard a lady saying that, “all her friends are in serious relationships, so she too has to look for someone to be in a relationship with so that she wouldn’t be the odd one among them”. Is that reasonable in any way?

When you don’t know what you want from a relationship, or have a cogent reason why you need to be in a relationship, any stupid idea or thoughts about relationship becomes appealing to you and you immediately accept such idea as your reason for wanting to be in a relationship. people that let other people or situations around them dictate their relationship needs or decisions end up attracting the wrong set of people that will not take them seriously.

 To attract someone that will be in same relationship frequency with you, you need to have a clear idea of what you want from the relationship, else, anyone will seem attractive and appealing to you because you don’t have a relationship direction. Knowing what you want in a relationship will help you in assessing the people that show interest in you if they can actually give you what you are looking for. But when you don’t have a clear definition of what you want from a relationship, anyone will seem to have what you’re looking for even when you don’t actually know what it is that you are actually looking for.


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• You have a low self esteem:

How you see and think about yourself also play a great role in the type of person you open up your heart to. So many single people are so scared of being alone that they wouldn’t mind remaining in abusive relationships just to make sure that they are not alone. When you know your worth, you don’t let anyone treat you less and you don’t give yourself to just anyone – you give yourself to those that are willing to give you the love and respect you deserve.

I see a lot of single people keeping relationships that are very degrading and disrespectful to them, and I can’t help but wonder if they are under spells for being in such kind of a relationship. Such a thing can only happen when one doesn’t know who he or she really is. One very obvious problem of people with low self image is that they keep making the same mistake in their choice of a romantic partner repeatedly without even knowing it.

We also attract people based on what we think about ourselves. You may not have the prettiest face or even the greatest shape or physique around, but you have something that any wonderful partner will be willing to die for and consider himself/herself lucky for having someone like you. Think of your special qualities and work on them; think highly of yourself and display it. You’re valuable and precious, and you deserve the very best in life. Always say that to yourself.

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. Think highly of yourself and you’ll be amazed at the type of wonderful people that will be begging to be in a relationship with you. 

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