COULD THESE BE THE TRUE REASONS WHY YOU ARE STILL SINGLE(part one)

when you ask a person of marriageable age why he/she is still single? He or she would give you lines like, I have not found my Mr./Mrs. Right;  there are no eligible men or women; all the good men or women have been taken; I am enjoying my singlehood; I don’t want to be in any man’s bondage; I don’t want to lose my freedom – the person that told you marriage is a bondage lied; I can’t settle for less; they have not been meeting my criteria, etc.

There are some that would even take an offense at you asking them such a question that should be none of your
business, and they would look at you in such a way that if your foot were not firm on the ground you would end up somersaulting and hitting your head on the ground. In their mind they are like, ‘how dare he/she ask me such question?’ ‘Can’t he/she see that I am enjoying my life and living my dreams?’ ‘Is he crazy?’ Or ‘can’t he/she see that all the eligible men or decent women have been taken?’

They fail to realize that their singleness is not solely because there was no one willing to commit to them but because they themselves are looking for what they don’t have or  some fairy-tale qualities in their would be partners. Thus, they shut their hearts to those around them because they feel they don’t have the fairy-tale qualities they are looking for. Before you create that list of your ideal spouse and what you expect from him or her, ask yourself if what you are looking for are realistic and if you also have those qualities that would attract and make him/her stay with you should he or she eventually come across your path.

You need to understand that your views about relationship greatly affect your relationship choice and decisions. So many single people have developed a selfish view about relationship and marriage. They only look out for what their supposed partner is to add to them: not what they would give in return. If you think this is not true, open your list and start considering everything you’ve written down concerning your expectation from your would be partner or spouse and tell me if there’s one that centers on what he or she will benefit from you in return.

ALSO READ: Could this be the true reason why you are still single(part two)
ALSO READ: Why you keep attracting the wrong people into your life

When you view relationship and marriage as a business enterprise in which you alone are to make profit, then you start assessing everyone that comes your way based on that, and when you don’t see yourself having what you’re looking for from them in the shortest time possible your end up losing interest and treating them in an unbecoming way; thereby shutting yourself up from some great people and relationship.

There are some that also think that beauty or money is all they need to attract and keep the man or woman of their dreams. They don’t walk on themselves or try to make themselves better in any way. They forget that successful and long lasting relationship goes beyond beauty and money. They can only attract someone to you but they can’t keep him/her with you in the long run. What will make someone want to stay with you and consider building a future and a life with you is what you have in you, not on your appearance and physique that are temporary.

People that work on themselves and know what they want don’t just open up their heart to anyone. They look for those that are also going the same destination with them to give themselves to - you are likely to attract your like. Relationship is work and requires both parties coming together to bring something to the table. If you feel that all you have to bring to the relationship is just your beauty or physique, you will end up meeting people that won’t take you seriously because they will see you as a liability and one that doesn’t know about what real relationship entails.

When it comes to building a long lasting relationship, beauty and money is not all that is required; you must have and be willing to give more than that. The question is ‘do you have that more that is required to take your relationship to the next level?’

Some are still single because they consider the people showing interest in them to be less than what they are looking for. To them relationship is all about what they want and anyone not meeting that standard is considered as less. You hear them say something like, ‘I don't have all this(body and physique) or come all this way in order to come and settle for less’. I wonder if less is the name of any human being. This is what happens when single people assess the eligibility of an individual for relationship based on the material things they can benefit from him or her; not how best they can enhance and nourish each other.

 I only know that settlements are given to those that have served under a master for some time and are being rewarded for their diligence and hard work so as to enable them stand on their own. When you say you can’t settle for less, who are you settling? Or who is going to settle you? Or for what are you demanding such settlement?

Your view about relationship greatly influences how you view and assess the people that show interest in you. Someone may fall short in your settlement list, pardon my use of words, but that person might just be the oil that you’ve been looking for to lubricate the bearing of your happiness and fulfillment in life if given a chance.......To be continued.....
  ALSO READ: Could these be the true reasons why you are still single
ALSO READ: How to know someone that is with you for the wrong reasons
ALSO READ: How to know a man that is going to commit to you