7 QUALITIES YOU MUST HAVE BEFORE YOU CAN KEEP A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP

So many people go into relationship without having a full understanding of what it entails and how to use it to their advantage. There are also some others that have the mindset that relationship is all they need in order to have joy, peace and balance in their lives. I don’t think any of us seeking to be in loving relationships had ever sat down and calculated the cost of being in a relationship and what it requires in order for one to be successful in it

.

Relationship is work and it requires diligent effort to make it a success or have what you desire from it. So, going into relationship unprepared is setting yourself up for possible heart break and confusion. Have you bothered to ask yourself what qualities you need to have and look out for in your prospective partner in order to maintain a successful relationship with him/her? Successful relationships don’t just happen overnight, you need to put in effort and make committed decisions to make it what you want it to be.

 Below is a list of some of the most important qualities you need to possess before you go into romantic relationship if you want to stand a chance of building a successful relationship.

• A Good self image:

So many people go into relationship hoping to boost their self image. I think such action is very risky; considering the numerous challenges in relationship. If you don’t have a great self image, keeping a relationship is likely not going to make you feel good about yourself. You need to understand who you are,
 what you stand for and have a great pride in yourself before you can be successful in keeping a romantic relationship; else relationship is likely going to make you more confused and frustrated if you hope to use it for self validation. 

Relationship has the ability to build one up if one is with the right partner. But should it be the other way round, one is most likely to think very lowly of oneself if one has not developed a good self image prior to the relationship. Even people with great self image most times doubt themselves and their abilities in the event of relationship failure. That is why it is necessary that those seeking to go into relationship with the opposite sex first work on themselves and get approval from themselves first, before they seek the approval of someone else.

People that go into relationship with a good self image seldom allow the ills in their relationship get to them; as they know who they are and what they can do. Having a great self image is very vital in maintaining a successful relationship. Those seeking to be in romantic relationship with the opposite sex should first work on themselves and gain love and approval from themselves before seeking the love and approval of someone else.

• Confidence:

This has to do with one believing in oneself and one’s abilities. When you know your worth (self image), you have to back it up with confidence in order to be able to present yourself for who you really are. There is a difference between having a great self image and presenting yourself the way you should be presented. This is what confidence does - It helps you present yourself the way you should be presented without any form of fear or doubt.

When you are confident, you can present your needs and your wants; you can say your expectations and how you want to be treated. So many people have great self image but when it comes to stating what they want and how they desire to be treated in their relationships, they black out totally. If you know your worth, you should be able to put yourself out there and state your needs. Don’t let anyone treat you wrongly or accept any kind of shit your partner dishes out because you lack the confidence to speak out for yourself.

ALSO READ: how to reveal the true character of your partner

ALSO READ: How to keep your man in the home and make him spend time with you

Confidence is vital for building great relationship. Confident people know what they want and they don’t get scared of speaking about it. You help your partner understand you more and your desires if you can be confident enough to tell him/her lovingly what you need from the relationship and how you want to be treated.

• Willingness to learn and unlearn:

Relationship is a learning ground. It is only a fool that would go into a relationship pretending to have known all that needed to be known. Every individual is different. No two persons on the face of the earth reason or do things the same way. So in order to have a successful relationship, you must have that willingness to learn new things and unlearn those habits that are detrimental to the success of your relationship.

Even though your partner should accept you for who you are, that shouldn’t stop you from letting go those ill habits that might create confusion and misunderstanding in your relationship. People that find it difficult to let go bad habits or reasoning patterns and replace them with new ones, often find it difficult maintaining a successful relationship. There must be that willingness to learn and unlearn in order for any relationship to be a success.

• You must be tolerant:

Most of us fail to understand that our partner is a completely different individual that was brought up under a completely different environment from ours. Every human has flaws - including you that love pointing at other people’s flaws. You have your own. So, if you really want to build a successful relationship, you need a lot of tolerance.

You need to learn when to just overlook some things and let them be; You need to be tolerant enough to still be able to part your partner in the back even in the midst of their fucking up. That doesn't mean you are encouraging them to continue in such fuck up, it simply means you're with them and are willing to support, encourage and stay with them despite their fuck ups.

ALSO READ: The role of compromise in building great relationships

ALSO READ: How to avoid physical abuse in your relationship

In relationships, there’s bound to be lots of fuck ups, but it is how the fuck ups are handled that would determine how far that relationship would go. If you don’t have a tolerant heart, you can hardly make it in relationship because there would certainly be a lot of things that would test your patience and your tolerance.

One way of knowing someone that has mastered the act of tolerance is being able to profess your love and support for your partner consistently even in the midst of their fucking up.  Tolerance is very vital for building a successful relationship. So, if you intend to have or build a successful relationship with your partner, you need to have a lot of this – Tolerance.

• You must be willing to compromise:

You can’t have a great relationship without compromise. Compromise is very vital for building successful relationships. People that have difficulty compromising should have no business being in relationship; else they would end up being seen as dictators – which is not a good thing for maintaining love and unity in romantic relationships.

When you always decide on having things done your way, your partner would find it difficult sharing information with you because they know that you would still do what you want to do in the end. You must not be the one winning all the time if you want to build a successful relationship. Your partner has to win also because he/she is also in the team. There is no “this is how I have been doing it all my life” or “this is who I am” shit when it comes to building a successful relationship. You must be willing to shift grounds and listen to your partner also, if you want to have a successful relationship.

• A forgiving heart:

You must have a forgiving heart if you have any intention of building and staying in a successful relationship. Your partner will offend you a lot - that you may even feel like stabbing him/her a times. But it’s only those with not just a loving heart but also a forgiving heart that would be able to let things slide and understand that he/she is also a human being and still shower him/her with their love and devotion.

That is why it is always said that "successful relationship is work" because you must be very willing to invest concrete effort if you want to make your relationship a success. Loving relationships without forgiveness ends up being a battle ground. One of the proofs that you love your partner is shown in your willingness to forgive him/her whenever they offend you irrespective of how small or big the offence might be.

• A generous heart:

There is no relationship without sharing. In fact, sharing is the core of every true relationship – you share yourself, your time, your energy, your finance, your emotion, your pains, etc. Anyone seeking to be in a romantic relationship with the opposite sex must be very willing to bring something tangible to the table. Both parties have to give their all if the relationship is to succeed.

Before you go into romantic relationship with the opposite sex, you must be willing to state what you can give. No sane human being goes into a romantic relationship with an empty hand. You may not have the finance per say, but there are other things you can also bring to the table.

 Any relationship where one of the partners withholds from sharing with the other never stands the test of time. Sharing in relationship is not something that should be forced on an individual -  it is something that comes naturally because you love and value your partner. So, if you observe that you have difficulty sharing things with others, you should start working on that now because it might affect your relationship in the future because relationship is all about sharing.

ALSO READ; how marriage affects the family and the society

ALSO READ: Your thoughts, your tongue, your words and your actions

It is one thing to have the urge of wanting to be in a relationship and it is another thing to be ready for the demands of being in a romantic relationship.  Romantic relationship involves sharing, loving, protecting, forgiving, enduring etc. You must be very much willing to work on yourself and show yourself real love before you can be bold enough to say you love someone else.

 Do you think you love yourself enough to love someone else? You can’t give what you don’t have and do what you are not willing to do. So, should you want to be successful in relationship, you must be willing to do all these and even more if you want to make a head way in your relationships.

It would be a pleasure to also hear your thoughts and contributions about this post in the comment section. Thanks for stopping by.
Related Post: 
signs that he doesn't consider you as the right one for him
3 simple acts that can transform your relationship
Obvious reasons why you keep attracting the wrong partners
6 Ways you can know if he is ready for commitment