Marriage is a union between two
people with both parties bringing something to the table in order for it to be
a success. But when you have to compel him in order to make him take that bold
step with you, then you’re bound to encounter some huge challenges later on in
your marriage relationship.
When you‘re with someone that knows your
worth and see the role you play in his life, then there should be no problem or
difficulty for him to pop that question and commit to you out of his own free
will. Beside, marriage is a life-long commitment that one must be willing to
embark on, else there’s bound to be serious challenges along the way.
Below are some of the reasons why you should
not compel him to pop out that question and commit to you.
1. He’s not doing you a favor:
Understand that a man is not doing
you a favor when he decides to settle down with you. Marriage is a union where
both partners have roles to play. You are bringing something to the table,
likewise him.
When you start giving him ultimatum
or compelling him to decide on you, you’re creating a kind of view in his heart
that he’s likely doing you a favor by wanting to settle down with you, hence he
would want to hold that favor for a longer time and make you keep begging.
When you understand your worth and
you know that marriage is a partnership, then you will understand that in
marriage no partner is doing the other a favor by deciding to settle with
him/her.
2. He might start thinking that he has a lot to lose should he decide to settle down with you:
When you start compelling a man to
settle down with you, he’ll start thinking that he has everything to lose while
you have all to gain should he do that. Hence he would want to look for reasons
why he shouldn’t do that.
you should understand that you’re not coming
to take from him but coming to add something valuable to his life, hence you
shouldn’t let him think that you’re trying to make him lose his freedom but you’re
coming to make him complete and fulfilled.
3. You’re likely to close your eyes to his bad habits:
When a lady starts looking forward
to a man popping that question, she’s bound to start overlooking all his flaws
until she is able to get what she’s looking for. When a man doesn’t want to
commit and he’s been forced to do that, he’s likely to reveal his true self the
more but most ladies close their eyes to all his flaws because they’re looking
for commitment.
Understand that you can’t make a man
make a commitment to you when he doesn’t really see it as necessary. Let’s assume
that you eventually got the commitment that you were looking for from him, what
would you do should you discover that he has some awful character flaws that
you had overlooked because you wanted him to pop the questions?
4. He’ll think you’re trying to prevent him from having his fun:
A man gets to that stage in life
where he doesn’t feel at ease with himself living in singlehood any more or being
in the midst of other single people in a place called ‘club’. That’s the point
that he; by himself decides to settle down.
Should you try to compel him to decide or
chose before he gets to that stage in his life, he’ll start seeing you as a
hindrance that’s trying to stop his fun.
You are not coming into his life to
stop his fun but to make it more fun filled. So you shouldn’t make him start
seeing you as someone coming to stop or prevent his fun, but someone coming to
make his life more interesting hence there’s no need in trying to compel
commitment from him. When he understands your worth and role in his life, he’ll
do that willingly and gladly.
5. He’ll think that you have something to hide:
When you start compelling him to pop
those words, he might start thinking that you have something to hide from him
that’s why you want to make him commit to you faster.
No matter how long a man has spent or stayed
with a woman he’s not married to, the
moment she starts giving him an ultimatum or wanting to make him pop the
question, he would start thinking that she has something to hide hence he would
want to take his time and be more careful.
Understand that you’re coming to be
an addition to his life and anything that‘s is not making him ‘pop that
question’ means that he’s yet to make up his mind on that and you might not be
able to make him do that without any stiff resistance.
6. He’ll start seeing you as desperate:
When a man starts seeing a woman as
desperate, he’ll start viewing all of her actions as artificial and as means to
deceive him to commit. He’ll start judging all of your actions and good
intentions toward him; hence he would start acting more careful with you.
7. You give him the power to control your life:
When you make a man feel like he
holds the key to your life because all you care about is commitment, then he
would want to control your life and everything that you do. He’ll start telling
you who should be your friends, how you should live your life, where and where
you’re allowed to go etc.
Your likely to lose your will and
yourself should you make it look like your life is worthless should he fail to
give you that commitment and he’s likely to use that avenue to impose his will
on you and control every of your actions.
Don’t lose yourself because you want
him to commit. Make him see your worth and your importance in his life and
should he still decide not to commit to you, then I don’t think you have any
business with him.
Understand that a man is not doing
you a favor by deciding to settle down with you. He should be able to see your
worth and be willing to commit to you without you demanding or requiring it. You’re
too precious and special for someone to think that he’s helping you out by
choosing to spend the rest of his life with you.
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