5 Keys To Building A Healthy Relationship (Part1)

The problem with most relationships is that,

the individuals in it most times were not sincere to each other when they got into it. Everyone was putting up a front and claiming to be what they are not in order to gain the acceptance and love of the other. Thus making their partners accept and love them not for who they truly are but for a “front” that they have presented that will be difficult to sustain in the course of the relationship.

This is one of the major causes of most of the problems in relationships; where you made your partner believe an aspect of you that is not the real you and you hope that he/she will love and accept the real you once you are certain that you have gained his love and trust. But how can there be love and trust in deception?

Most single people forget the meaning of the word deception when they are the ones indulging in it. They forget to understand that if someone cannot accept the real you from the onset of your relationship, whether the relationship has been consolidated or not, they will hardly accept the real you whenever you decide to show it if it is below what they expected or what you have presented to them.

The way a relationship started will to a great extent determine how far it’ll go and how successful it’ll become. A relationship built on the foundation of lies and deceit can never stand the test of time; it will always come crashing down on whosoever is rolling out the lies.

One writer said that “if you said the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” Same applies in relationship. If you are sincere to yourself and your partner, you don’t need to be afraid of the relationship breaking up.

The foundation on which a relationship is built determines how well such relationship will fare over time. So the question now is “how can we lay a strong foundation for our relationships?” Below are some simple tips to help you get started in the journey of putting your relationship on the right course.

• Be Yourself:

The first thing you bring into your relationship is “yourself”: not what you have, your swag or someone else. Presenting yourself to be something you know you are not or cannot preserve in the course of the relationship is akin to setting yourself and relationship up for failure.

 Pretense is a very quick relationship killer. If your partner can’t accept you the way you are now, what makes you think he/she will accept you later when he/she discovers who you truly are?

The problem with pretence is that you can hardly defend yourself when you get caught. It’s better you don’t start something you know you can’t finish, than starting it and not finishing it. Reveal who you are to him/her and let him/her decide if he/she can accept and love your person.  

Love to a great extent has to do with acceptance. If he/she can’t accept you and your flaws, he/she can’t love you. Any relationship built on pretense doesn’t have love in it because both partners are attracted to aspects of each other that are not real. You can’t claim to love someone until you’ve truly had an idea of the type of person such an individual is.

Thus, one of the foundations of building a lasting relationship with someone is presenting yourself just as you are. it is only when your partner can accept you regardless of your personality, before he/she can talk of improving or working on your weak aspects.

Love is a decision, thus your partner should be able to have an idea of who you are so that he/she will be able to make an informed decision about being with you.

To be continued.......

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