It seems so many people are
forgetting the definition of marriage or they don’t have any idea of what marriage actaually entails. With the high rate of divorce lately and the flimsy excuses
a lot of these
people divorcing their partners give, it seems most of them don’t really
understand what marriage is. Until one can understands what a thing is or entails, one can
never have a good relationship with such a thing. The way you define a thing will
determine to a great extent how you will relate with that thing: the same applies
to marriage. Until you understand what marriage is and entails you can hardly
become successful in it.
I remember when I were in junior
high school, I were taught that ‘marriage
is the coming together of a man and a woman as husband and wife.’ They never
told us for how long such a union is supposed to last or on what conditions one is supposed to opt out. While in my church i were told that 'marriage was ordained by God and those going into it should be prepared to stay in it for a life time regardless of whatever the outcome may be'. But i kinda think that this view about marriage by the church is kinda extreme. What about a situation where one gets involve with an abusive partner or an unfaithful partner, etc.
The truth is that both views about marriage raises a lot of questions in the heart of anyone that would want to take any of the definitions seriously. Though it is very obvious that a lot of people seem to be taking the first definition about marriage taught in school more seriously than the one taught in church because they feel that it suits their needs more than the one taught in church. let's come together now and if it doesn't go like we expect it to both of us can go our separate ways without putting in any effort to ensure that it worked out. This is the sort of view a lot of people have about marriage: they view marriage as an institution of convenience.
The truth is that both views about marriage raises a lot of questions in the heart of anyone that would want to take any of the definitions seriously. Though it is very obvious that a lot of people seem to be taking the first definition about marriage taught in school more seriously than the one taught in church because they feel that it suits their needs more than the one taught in church. let's come together now and if it doesn't go like we expect it to both of us can go our separate ways without putting in any effort to ensure that it worked out. This is the sort of view a lot of people have about marriage: they view marriage as an institution of convenience.
That is why so many people are so
quick to profess undying love to complete strangers they don’t know much about and the
next minute they are already in the registry, because they already have the
distorted view that if it doesn’t work in their favor they can easily walk out.
No plans for the future on how they would want their marriage to be like. All they
are looking for is the fun for the now and if it isn’t fun anymore, we can easily
opt out and go to the next available fellow that also view marriage as an institution of convenience. No wonder there
are so many young people these days in their thirties already having a history
of divorce. No one is talking about ‘working things out,’ all they talk about
is ‘leave if it doesn’t go as you expected.’
What does the word ‘marriage’ really
means to me? From my experience as an adult, I got to understand that marriage
is more than what I were told in school it was. I discovered marriage has
responsibilities and that marriage is supposed to be for a life time. So, how do I define marriage?
“I see marriage as a decision by two
matured individuals to love, accept, respect, support, care, protect and be
faithful to each other all through their life time”.
Those seeking to go into marriage
must first of all be matured. What does it mean to be matured? They should be
people that have attained the legal age of maturity as stipulated by the law of
the land in which they dwell in and they must also possess mental and emotional maturity. They
must understand what marriage is; what it entails; the responsibilities involve
and must have the wherewithal to meet those responsibilities. This is a simple
summary of what maturity is.
Secondly, those seeking to go into
marriage must be willing to love, accept, respect, support, care, protect and
be willing to remain faithful to their partners for the rest of their lives. Marriage
is an adventure that has a lot of up times and down times. You must make up
your mind to stick with your partner through it all. So many people are so
quick to leave their marriage hoping they would meet the real angel that they
have been waiting for in their next marriage, only to discover that such angel
does not exist.
They keep repeating the same mistakes; always
thinking that it’s the partner they are with that is the problem. They fail to
understand that marriage requires work in order for it to be a success. You
must be willing to work on yourself, your partner and your marriage in order to
make it what you want it to be. If you are not ready for the work and
responsibilities of marriage, then you are not yet ready for marriage because
you are yet to understand what marriage truly is.
Lastly, marriage is supposed to be a
life time adventure. Marriage does not have an expiry date. It is supposed to
be ‘till death do us part.’ Marriage is very interesting and vital for our lives;
if only we can have enough patience with our partner and work things out with
them we would discover that marriage is very enjoyable.
Since I took that bold decision of
marriage seven years ago, I have never looked back. Yes, there were times we
had great misunderstanding and we felt like stabbing each other, but the love
we had for each other always saw us through. We understood that we were
different and that it is our responsibility to make our marriage what we want
it to be. Since we got that knowledge, things have greatly improved and our
marriage has been getting better with each passing day.
Look, there is no angel anywhere! Everyone has
some form of imperfections in them. So don’t run out of your marriage hoping
that you’ll meet someone better. You can’t really tell how good or bad your
next partner may be. Stay with your partner and try to work things out. Both of
you can work on your marriage and make it what you want it to be. All it
requires from both of you is just a little bit of love, patience and
understanding. You have in you what it will take to make your marriage a heaven
on earth. Stay, fight for it and work on it in order for you to make it what
you want it to be.
Marriage is vital to our lives and
for our existence as humans. But we must first understand what it is and what
it entails before we can actually make the most of it. This is a summary of my
own understanding of ‘marriage’. What is ‘marriage’ to you?
I think your your spell are working on my relationship with my wife! Before she wanted to separate and divorce – these days she’s calling me! She texts me: wanting us to get back together again. thanks Dr Obodo,need dr check he at Email: templeofanswer@hotmail.co.uk
ReplyDeleteM. Nagazadeh, Richmond, Virginia