In the USA it is a general belief
that infidelity is one of the unforgiveable sins in a committed relationship
and anyone that dares cross that line of unfaithfulness should be shown the
exit door without a second thought. the situation is even worsened by the media
as they tend to tag anyone that tries to work things out
with his/her repentant
partner as ’weak’. Two questions I would like to ask here are, ‘do cheaters
really deserve a second chance? And on what ground should a partner that has
been cheated on consider giving the other partner that had crossed that
unforgivable line of cheating a second chance?’
One problem I have observed in my
relationship and that of other people around me is that, we tend to listen more
to what those around us have to say about our relationship and allow their
standard influence our decisions in the relationship. We tend to listen more to
what the society say is acceptable rather that what we want. Most people have
left relationship that should have stood the test of time because the society
made them believe that staying and working things out is a sign of weakness and
low self esteem: when in the real sense such action connotes great strength and
courage.
Irrespective of what anyone has to say about
you or your relationship, you need to understand that your relationship is your
business and no one else’s. Any decision you make in your relationship should
be done with the knowledge that you are the one wearing the shoes and only you
know where it pinches. The decision of whether to give a cheating partner a
second chance or not should be determined by you without listening to any
external influence because you’re the one that will still wear the shoes in the
end.
Now let’s get back to the above
question, should a cheat really be given a second chance? Will he/she sincerely
change? Can there ever be trust in such relationship?
Here’s is my take on this. Cheating
is an act that doesn’t occur suddenly in a relationship, it takes a lot of pre-thoughts
and plans for someone in a committed relationship to carry out an act of
cheating successfully. Dissatisfaction with oneself, ones partner and ones
relationship is the second most common causes of cheating after selfishness.
Cheating affects every aspect of a
relationship and the psychology of the partner that is cheated on is also
greatly affected. But can things really be worked on and the relationship
restored back to normal after cheating had occurred? Should a cheat really be
given a second chance? There is no direct answer whether a cheat should be
given a second chance or not, but there are questions that need to be answered
in order for one to know if he/she should work things out or take a walk. Such
questions include, is the cheat sorry and repentant? Is it a one-time fling or
a continuous pre-determined action? Is he/she willing to work on
himself/herself and the relationship? Is the one cheated on willing to forgive
and work things out should the cheat feel sorry and repentant?
The question of whether a cheat should
be given a second chance or not depends on the partner that is cheated on and
the actions of the cheat after such act. Cheating is hardly forgotten in a
relationship because it connotes betrayal and breed suspicion and lack of trust
thereafter. Any committed relationship where cheating had ever occurred
requires much more care in order for it to gain balance again. But if the partner that is cheated on can
forgive and the cheat is willing to turn a new leave and work on the relationship,
something can actually be done. The bottom line of whether a cheat should be
given a second chance or not depends on if both partners will be willing to
work on the relationship and put whatever might have happened behind them.
The one cheated on will feel deeply
hurt and betrayed, but if the cheating partner feels really sorry and
repentant, something can really be worked out. Nobody is a saint as everyone
has flaws in them. Yes, your partner has deeply hurt you, but is there any
chance that something can be worked out with him/her should he/she feel sorry
and repentant?
People get carried away sometimes
and let the situation they were in dictate their actions. If your partner
cheated because he/she was in a situation like that and they really feel sorry
and sincerely want to work things out, don’t you think he/she should be given a
second chance?
No relationship can ever thrive in
an environment where there is no forgiveness no matter how big or small the
offence might be. Though, that doesn’t mean that we should go about
deliberately hurting our partner and asking for forgiveness in the end. It
simply means that our partner may do things in the relationship that may stretch
us to our limit. The decision whether or not to forgive them and work things
out will depend on us and how sincerely they feel sorry and want our
forgiveness.
Everyone one deserves a second
chance if they really feel sorry for their actions and sincerely wants to work
things out. You need to understand that your relationship is your business,
thus you should let no one decide or influence how you run it because you are
the one that will wear the shoes in the end.
No comments:
Post a Comment