RE-IGNITING THE FLAME OF PASSIONATE LOVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Remember when you two newly got together? - Where you can’t take your hands off each other; where you always want to be in the company of each other and stare endlessly into each other’s eyes with boiling passion and appreciation. Remember when you couldn’t go a day without telling him/her how much he or she means to you. Remember when you can’t stay a day without hearing his/her lovely voice? 

 “Where has all that passion gone to?” You might ask. How come someone that used to be your all in all now seems to be someone you hardly give a damn about? What has gone wrong? Where has the flame of the passion of the love you both once had for each other gone to?

Like someone once said, “Love leaves in little ways”. It’s those little things we fail to pay attention to in our relationships that put out the flame of love on the long run. Remember how you were very quick to appreciate the beauty of your partner and the effort he/she is putting into your relationship to ensure that it works out fine?


If I should ask, when was the last time you told you partner you love him or her? Or give them sincere compliments concerning how they look, or appreciation for a little thing that they have done for you? These are some of the little things that keep the fire of love burning continuously.

You used to look forward to going back home from work or where-ever you might have been to the loving and waiting arms of your wonderful partner. But things have been different in a long while and yet you fail to ask ‘where such a great feeling you used to have for your partner has gone to?’

Some of us fail to understand that when everything else around us has failed us, the only thing that can hold us together and help us maintain our sanity is the relationship that we’ve been able to build with our spouses over the years. Yet, this is one aspect of our lives that we seem to neglect the most.

When you place every other thing over building a healthy relationship with your spouse, when those things eventually fail you, you end up being more miserable and empty than you would have been. Why is that so? It is that way because, the only thing that should have been your source of comfort and hope for tomorrow has been so neglected that it has nothing to nourish you in your period or state of despair.

Relationship is a basic aspect of human life and can greatly enhance your performance and functionality at whatever you do if you know how to go about it.

It is really time to look into your life and sift out those things taking you and your spouse apart and re-ignite that passion of the great love you both once had. How can this be done? How can one re-ignite such passion of love back in a relationship that he/she has neglected for such a long time?

Below are some simple tips to help guide you into re-igniting the flame of that passionate love back in your relationship with your spouse.

• Make your relationship with your spouse a priority:

As humans, we shift all our energy and attention towards what we consider our priority. Making your relationship your priority is one of the ways of ensuring that you never leave your relationship to chance. You put in effort to ensure that your spouse is never neglected and left malnourished emotionally. Remember, you get from your relationship, what you put into it. So if you put nothing into it, you’re bound to get nothing in return.

Some of us have made other things like our kids, jobs, businesses, hobbies etc, our priority and place our relationship down in the list of things without considering the effect it would have on us and our spouses. We seem to forget that a healthy relationship also enhances our performances in our day to day activities.

If you think your relationship has been neglected for so long and you seriously want to do something to bring the passion back, this should be a good starting point for you. Make your relationship your priority and see the effect it’s going to have on you and your partner.

• Seek to spend more time with your partner:

Someone once said that “love enters through the eyes and leaves through the eyes”. That statement is true in all ramifications as the more you see someone and get in contact with him or her, the more you are likely to develop an attraction and a likeness for such a person. Same applies to romantic relationship.  The more you spend time with each other, the more you stir the passion of the love you both have for each other.

One great enemy of passionate love between two couples or partners is spending too much time apart. How do you express your love for someone you rarely see? There’s a huge difference between expressing your love when someone is physically present with you and expressing your love for your spouse/partner through the phone where you only have to hear your spouse’s voice.

The value we place on something most times is measured by the amount of time we spend with that thing. Every time you put an effort to spend time with your spouse or partner, you’re simply telling him or her that you value and deeply care about him or her.

Besides, there are so many fun stuffs you can do with your partner when spending time together such as reading, watching movies, playing games, going to the gym to exercise, taking a walk etc. such practices may sound strange and unreasonable to some of you but you’ll be amazed at the enormous passion such little practices might bring back to your relationship. The more you do these things together the more you build and strengthen the bond of love between you and your spouse.

 Give it a try. Learn to spend time together; even if the only thing you both could do is stare into each other’s eyes. You would see what effect it would have in re-igniting passionate love in your hearts. If you think your partner and your relationship are important to you, no matter how busy your schedule might be, you can always create the time to make your relationship a success. It’s in your hands and you can make it work and bring the passion back if you just would put a little effort.

• Be generous with compliments for your spouse:

When last did you tell your spouse how awesome he or she looks in that outfit? We humans are very quick to make known our displeasure at something we seem not to like, but we easily forget to do same at something that tickles our fancy.

Learn to give little compliments to your partner when he or she put effort into ensuring that your relationship works. Compliment your partner’s look, smell, effort, etc. Don’t be quick to always point out the wrong in your partner, rather be quick at pointing out the good in him or her and see how your relationship would boil with passion. Little words of compliments will go a long way to stirring the passion of love in the heart of your spouse.

• Learn to be expressive of your feelings:

Don’t hide your affection and feelings for your spouse – express them. Tell him or her what you feel about him/her, how his/her actions make you feel at any point in time and what you expect of him or her. One way in which we can kill the passion of our love between us and our spouse is by assuming that he/she knows what you need.

Don’t assume what your partner may or may not need, speak to him/her about it and tell him or her yours also. Assumptions have taken love relationships that should have blossomed to path where it seems difficult for them to be revived. Be verbal and vocal about your feelings and expectations to your spouse: for by so doing you help him/her to understand your needs the more thereby re-igniting the passionate love you both once had.

• Bring back the romance:

When last did you take your spouse out? or buy him or her a little present to assure your spouse of your love for him/her? Some of us used to think that we have to spend a lot on our spouse before our gestures of love can be taken note of. When last did you write your spouse a little love note? Or when last did you call them to express your love for them from work? Or when last did you send to them a missing you message?

That little special treatment, love note, romantic dinner, present, event, leave, picnic etc, you decide to embark on with your spouse might just be all you need to bringing back the fire in your love life. Don’t ever underestimate the power of little love gestures as it speaks volume to your partner that you think and care about him or her.

You don’t need all the money in the world to let your partner know that you love them; just little actions done consistently will have a much greater effect in bringing the fire back to your love life.

• Learn to be appreciative of the little love gestures of your spouse:

When you view the time and effort your partner invests in your relationship and marriage as his or her duty, you tend to see no reason to appreciate him or her for such effort. We seem not to understand that it’s his or her love for you and your relationship that is prompting him or her to do those things continuously; even with you constant criticism of their effort.

You may never know the power of these two words ‘thank you’, until you actually start using them. When your spouse does little things for you and you show your appreciation in whatever way possible, you just increase the likelihood of him wanting to do that thing again and again. A little thank you for a meal prepared, a little note of love, an affectionate part in the back etc, might go a long way to creating a desire in your spouse to always want to repeat such gestures so as to get your appreciation the more.

• Limit your criticism of your spouse:

Just as a little appreciation can be used to re-ignite the flame of love, so also does criticism extinguish the fire of love faster than can be imagined. Have you ever wondered why your spouse hardly tells you anything lately? It could be because you’re fond of criticizing whatever he or she does.

 Common, instead of criticizing your spouse, learn to encourage and correct him or her in love. There are some spouses that have never had anything good to say about their partners – that’s so pathetic. If you know that you can’t say something nice to your spouse, it would be better if you keep your mouth shut, instead of making the matter worse and complicating your love life the more.

Limit the time you spend criticizing you partner and you’ll discover that both of you will start enjoying each other’s company and spending more fun time together.

• Let go of past hurt and grudges against your spouse:

Keeping record of past hurt is one sure way of draining the love out of your relationship because it would cause you to keep looking at your partner through such spectacle of hurt. You find it hard to believe if he or she truly loves you and you’ll keep rebuffing every of his or her attempt at making amends and make your relationship better.

Understand that hurt sometimes is inevitable in a relationship, But what you do with the hurt is what determines the direction your relationship would take. Having hurtful feelings and grudges against your partner shuts your heart from every of his or her love gestures no matter how hard he or she may try. Also, constantly reminding your partner of his or her wrong deeds keeps him or her away from you the more because he or she become uncertain if his or her love gestures would be welcomed.

Let that hurt and grudge against your spouse go and see how well you’ll respond to his or her gestures of love and restore the flame of love back in your relationship.

•  Pray and read the word of God together:

This is one sure way of really igniting the fire of love between you and your spouse. Your draw both you physical and spiritual minds together. Can you imagine that feeling that’s generated when you and your spouse discuss the word of God together sharing different views and concluding it by joining hands to say a simple word of prayer?

 Imagine you hearing your beloved one asking the almighty God to do something for you, it would create a kind of loving feeling in your heart and that of your spouse and it would bind you more both physically and spiritually. Practice to do things together as couples and see how far it would go into strengthening and re-igniting the bond of love you both have for each other.

You must understand that love is a journey that is never ending with little bumps here and there but only the prepared and determined can actually run it successfully till the end and get the price of love – which is the feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment that nothing else could give you in life.

So if you are not ready to run this race, it is better that you never start it in the first place because should you start it with no concrete plan of finishing it, it would make you more miserable and confused than you were before you embarked on it.

Love is a beautiful thing and having someone to share one’s life with is one of the best things that could happen to anyone in this world. So do not waste such opportunity as you can hardly recover from such loss should it happen. Make your spouse and your relationship your priority and you would be the one smiling and shouting praises continuously to God daily for the enormous blessings of romantic love that’ll be coming your way each day.