SHOULD THERE BE ANY SUCH THING AS ‘PRIVACY’ BETWEEN PARTNERS IN COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS

I’ve heard a lot of people say that there are things in relationships that should not be touched by ones partner without permission because they are termed private.
The question I want to ask here is, ‘should anything really be termed private to the partner one is in a committed relationship with?’

I think the moment a person decides to enter into a committed relationship with a member of the opposite sex, that moment he/she has also decided to lose every sense of privacy he/she might have as regards that partner. How can you explain this; if we could share the most intimate(private) part of ourselves with our partner during intimacy, withholding

any other thing from them would seem like stupidity; unless you have something to hide.

Relationship involves bringing everything about you to the full view of your partner. You have no business being in a relationship with someone you can’t share every aspect of your life with. I wonder when I hear partners in serious committed relationship still tag some things as private or still demand for a private moment from their partner. I don’t think any relationship can truly stand the test of time in an environment where some things are still tagged private or untouchable by ones partner.

Yes, there are times when you would feel like being alone so as to get yourself together. That is understandable.  But, that should never be used as an excuse to turn your back on your partner because you feel you need to be alone in order to get yourself together. That’s even a time we may even need our partner’s encouragement and support more – not a time to tune them off
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 If your partner can’t motivate you or cheer you up in your lowest moment, then there is problem with you or your relationship - it is either he/she is the one making you feel down and you’re trying to run away from him or her by demanding for an alone time or you’re in an unhealthy relationship or it might also be something is wrong with you as an individual. Because in a relationship where there’s love and understanding, both partners would want to seek solace from each other in difficult times - not run away from each other.

I don’t think anything should be tagged untouchable in a truly loving and committed relationship. If you don’t have anything to hide, you won’t be flaring up whenever your partner touches some of your personal belongings such as phones, computers, files etc. People that always demand for privacy in a committed relationship or tag some things as private and personal, most often than not have something they are trying to hide from their partner.


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Those in loving and committed relationships always look for ways of spending more time with their partner rather than demanding for a way to run away from them. When you have nothing to hide or to be ashamed of, then there would be no reason for you to flare up whenever your partner comes in contact with your belongings – whether you bought it with your money or not.

Remember, you don’t need to be in a relationship if you still have the habit of tagging some things ‘private and personal’ from the one you’re in a relationship with, because privacy leads to suspicion and where there is suspicion, the level of trust dwindles. Both suspicion and lack of trust are not healthy elements in a relationship, thus they shouldn't be given any room in a committed relationship. The moment your partner starts doubting your sincerity, that is the moment their love for you will start dwindling. Don't let that happen to you and your relationship because you are seeking for unnecessary privacy from the one you love. Let them charge and support you through any situation you find yourself in life - therein lies some of the fulfilments of being in a committed relationship.
Click here for great books on how to improve communication in your relationship


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